


The Accident

by Estelathan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Possible Character Death, Unreliable Narrator, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4705316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelathan/pseuds/Estelathan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like everyone else Loki had been drawn towards Thor like the proverbial moth to the flame but out of everyone Thor had chosen him. He had never expected it to end up like this. How in the hell had this even happened? Heart in his throat, Loki looks down at the too-still mass of bloodied blonde hair sprawled out at his feet and thinks he might just puke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my first Human AU story. While not stated in the story I do intend for both Thor & Loki to be 18 within it. Comments are always appreciated!

 

 

 

He’s broken, forsaken, and been down this particular road far enough in the past, Loki knows, that he’s also completely and utterly _screwed_. He briefly catches sight of his reflection in the dingy bathroom mirror- he’s pale and shaking, eyes far too wide and looking shell-shocked next to the smear of drying blood running down one cheek- and has to turn away, shuddering. He’s a wreck, but it’s nothing compared to the horror-show laid out at his feet that Loki’s resolutely looking anywhere but at. How in the hell had this even  happened? Heart in his throat, Loki looks down at the too-still mass of bloodied blonde hair sprawled out at his feet and thinks he might just puke. In his head Loki can picture his life teetering precariously on the edge of a chasm that he knows he’ll never climb out of once he falls in. It’s hardly comforting. He swallows hard against the bile burning in his throat and tries to force himself to stay calm but it’s hopeless. In the stifling silence of the room he can hear the way his breath comes in quick, hiccuping pants while his heart beats like a drum trapped in his chest. What’s he going to do?!  
  
What he _needs_ to do is get help. It’s the responsible thing, and this whole mess was nothing but a tragic accident to boot, but Loki’s feet feel like they’ve become part of the concrete floor for as much effort as he’s made towards moving. His whole body feels numb; he can’t make himself do anything beyond stand there with Thor laid out before him like a sacrifice and stare in horror. Whereas Loki is a shaking bundle of nerves ready to come undone Thor is motionless and still and so, so pale. It’s unnerving to see; for as long as Loki’s known him Thor has been a non-stop mass of unbridled energy. To see him so subdued now just feels wrong somehow, like a disgrace against nature or something.  
  
“You are so, so screwed this time. . .” Loki tells himself, his voice reedy thin as it echoes around the room. All he had ever wanted was to be loved, was that truly too much to ask? A choked whimper escapes him, his eyes pricking with the burn of unshod tears, as he wraps his arms about his middle. It’s not fair. . . “A-all I wanted—“ Loki starts, steadfastly ignoring the way his voice is cracking like ice underfoot, “Why did you have to go and ruin--- It’s all your fau— _Dammit Thor_!” He breaks off angrily with a noise that’s somewhere between a snarl and a sob and forces himself to move.  
  
He doesn’t get far; only a few steps away he falters before falling to his knees right there on the dirty floor. He feels like his chest is going to explode, he hurts so much. It’s just too much, too fast, and before he really knows it Loki’s broken down into great gulping sobs right there on the floor. He cries and howls and lets out all the pent-up anguish that’s been steadily building. It’s like a dam has broken somewhere inside him as Loki curls into himself. It’s a relief in a way, though as the puddle of blood that’s been steadily growing starts seeping into the fabric of his jeans, Loki starts sobbing all the louder.  
  
It takes a long, long time for the sobs to start dying down. By the time they’re gone completely, leaving him gasping for air, Loki feels cold. Raw. Exposed. It takes two tries just to get back to his feet again and once there he has to stumble his way over to a stall and hang onto the edge of the door for a few minutes while his circulation adjusts. As he stands there stamping his legs to get the blood flowing faster Loki cannot help but look over at Thor again before just as quickly looking away again. Thor hasn’t moved despite Loki’s hope otherwise. It’s an instantaneous sobering thought for if all the racket Loki had been making hadn’t been enough to rouse him then that meant Thor was. . . Loki choked the thought down; Thor wasn’t. . . He couldn’t be. . . _He wasn’t dead_!  
  
Oh gods, it was all his fault. Like everyone else Loki had been drawn towards Thor like the proverbial moth to the flame but out of everyone Thor had chosen him. Him. They’d only been together a little over six months, but for the most part it had been wonderful. Thor had a hidden soft side underneath his jock-like exterior and Loki would be lying if he didn’t admit that it was that soft side he’d loved the most. It had been four months of idyllic sanctuary, something Loki had never had before until Thor’s jock friends decided to interfere.  
  
Loki was too clingy, they decided. Too weird. Not good enough. They whispered these things and more into Thor’s ear and after endless weeks of being ignored Loki couldn’t take it anymore. He was tired of being ignored; tired of being unwanted, but mostly he was sick and tired of wanting Thor. What had started as an ache in his heart left when Thor pushed him away in favor of his friends had warped into an all-consuming need. Loki needed Thor more than anything else in the world and he wasn’t going to let anything, or anyone, stand in the way of getting exactly what he wanted. Which in the end had led to this- being trapped in this smelly hole-in-the-wall bathroom with an unresponsive Thor and a twisting knife feeling in his gut that just wouldn’t go away.  
  
This hadn’t been the plan. Having spent the better part of two weeks on it, the plan had been rather straightforward: Lure Thor away from his friends for some much-needed alone time. It had been surprisingly easy; Thor had practice nearly every evening after school thus it had been nothing to ensure Loki had wound up in detention on one of those nights. Detention let out just before practice did which meant Loki could be in place in the shadows of the hallway when Thor and his idiot friends were going into the locker room. From there it had been easy to lure Thor away under the pretense of talking, though they had barely been out of eyesight before it became clear Thor wanted little to do with talking and more with trying to stick his tongue down Loki’s throat. Yes, that part of the plan had went beautifully better than Loki could have anticipated. It had been perfect, really, right up until Loki had steered the two of them into this bathroom for some real privacy.  
  
By that point Loki had practically been wound around Thor like a boa constrictor and they had pushed through the door like a flailing, eight-limbed creature that was attached at the mouth.  After weeks of being apart it was like coming home again and Loki couldn’t get enough. They had kissed and moaned and ground against each other like it had been years instead of less than a month; if he concentrated Loki could swear he could still feel the hot, slippery taste of Thor’s tongue siding against his own. . .  
  
Heat pooled low in his belly at the thought as Loki licked his lips. Despite the absurdity of it all Loki was ready for another round though a quick glance in Thor’s direction shut down that train of thought before it could get started. _He’s so pale. . ._ Loki thought as he shuddered and looked away again. In his mind’s eye he could see the fatal flaw that had led to all this—they kissed and kissed until Loki had finally pulled away gasping for breath—only to have Thor grab after him. Loki’s “No Thor!” still echoed in his ears as he remembered pushing Thor back with all his might. . . and watching as Thor had stumbled backwards, eyes wide in surprise, only to slip in a puddle of water. The resounding *crack!* as his head hit the edge of the sink as he went down and the wide, terrified animal look on his face, was permanently etched into Loki’s memory.  
  
Bile suddenly surges up his throat at the memories and Loki narrowly makes into the stall before he’s throwing up for real this time. Horror settles into his bones as he retches and shudders but it’s no good. He can close his eyes to the pain, can pretend all he wants, but the bloody images of Thor still linger on before his eyes. In this moment Loki knows he can’t do this. No matter what the outcome he can’t handle this alone; can’t cover it up and pretend it doesn’t exist. If nothing else Thor deserves better from him.  
  
It takes a long, long time before Loki’s finally wrung himself dry. By then he’s dizzy and nauseous with tears running unbidden down his face and is, in short, a mess. Scrubbing the back of his hand over his mouth he scoots back against the stall and leans his head against the metal walls. “Thor?” Loki’s voice is raw, barely more than a strained whisper that echoes loudly in the silence. Seconds tick by and yet there’s no answer despite Loki’s quiet hope otherwise. . . What he wouldn’t give for a sound- a groan, a moan, a sniffle, anything! Undeterred by a lack of response he continues on: “I-I’m sorry. It should be me out there and not—not you. You deserve so much better.” Loki’s voice cracks as he stifles a sob. “You deserve better than me!” His tears start flowing faster making speech impossible as he curls into a ball and sobs.  
  
Finally at long last when Loki’s cried himself out he finds the strength to get to his feet and stumble his way out of the stall. His ears ring, his head hurts- he plods forward without really seeing where he’s going. He’s wrecked physically as well as emotionally yet he can’t, no he won’t, let that deter him. Loki’s stalled long enough and no matter what become of him in the end he’s going to see this through. His hands close onto the bathroom door’s knob, and he turns back to give Thor one final look before squaring his shoulders. _Thor deserves better_ , Loki thinks as he opens the door and steps out.


End file.
